


We'll Never Be Royals

by sansathepretty1



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-01
Updated: 2014-01-26
Packaged: 2018-01-07 01:34:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 9,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1113946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sansathepretty1/pseuds/sansathepretty1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Modern AU of the whole Song of Ice and Fire series. I'm actually motivated to finish this hehehe</p><p>Also published on FF.net under the same name.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Sansa Stark walked nervously into her new school with three new notebooks, two new binders, one of her mother's old skirts and a shirt she'd taken from her brother.

Weirwood Heights looked small on the outside but extended back into the ravine behind the school. It was the typical suburban Canadian school, seedy, nothing special, incorrigibly terrifying.

Sansa's brothers Jon and Robb walked ahead of her with their friend Theon and his sister Asha. Ninth grade seemed like such a joke. Catelyn and Ned Stark had told her these were the best years of her life but so far it didn't seem like it.

The front yard of the school was a grassy field with a driveway and a cover of trees. Several teenagers sat under a tree at the far end of the yard passing a bong around the circle, Sansa moved closer to her brothers and hurried into the school.

"Sansa, let me see your timetable." said Asha, she was tall and gorgeous, with pale skin and curly black hair. Sansa passed the older girl her timetable and she read it, "Ohhh, you have Ms Hightower for Homeroom, she's pretty chill, you'll like her. And Mr Lannister is kind of weird but you learn a shitload of math and... Ooh, you have Ms Rougement, remember, just call her Melisandre." Theon shoved the front doors open. The lobby was completely empty and the announcements were just starting to come on over the PA system.

"Shit." said Robb, "Sansa, we need to go, find your Homeroom and try to make friends!" he yelled as he ran away with Asha, Jon and Theon. Sansa was on her own. She made her way down the hall to room 210.

"...And that is what you can expect from this course! Welcome to Academic English everyone, I think we're going to have a very good year!"

Sansa opened the door slowly and every eye in the room turned to stare at her. What a colourful bunch. Sansa thought to herself as her eyes scanned her classmates, finally settling on her teacher. Ms Hightower was tall, with brown hair that had streaks of grey, she seemed nice, but her face was severe.

"Hi. I'm Sansa Stark."

"You're ten minutes late." said Ms Hightower. A ripple of laughter ran through the class. Sansa felt her face turn red, Fuck... "That's alright, sweetheart, it's only the first day." Thank God... "You can sit right here behind Ms Targaryen."

Ms Hightower pointed to a short, skinny girl who was wearing a leather jacket that looked to be about five sizes too big for her and her hair was so blonde it looked white, or maybe it was just dyed. Sansa sat down behind her and tapped her on the shoulder, she turned around, heavily-eyelinered eyes looked Sansa up and down,

"Is that your natural hair colour?"

The girl's dark purple lips bent into a smirk, "...Nope. I'm just soft grunge like that." When Sansa's only response was a blank look, the girl stopped smirking, "It's a recessive gene, my brother has it too."

"It's pretty."

"Thanks..." said the girl, turning around slowly. Sansa glanced to her right at a girl with brown hair and green doe eyes, she was grinning.

"Hi, I'm Margaery!" she chirped, "That's my mom!" she said, pointing to Ms Hightower, "I think we're gonna be really good friends."

"Me too." said Sansa, smiling nervously,

"You're here for four years, you don't want to get mixed up with the... wrong people." She glanced at the girl in front of Sansa,

"Why don't you just go on down to 11th Grade Math and suck Renly's dick for a few hours, Margaery?" her purple lips spat,

"You know what Dany, at least my boyfriend isn't wasted all the time."

"DROGO IS NOT WASTED ALL THE TIME." Dany shouted, standing up quickly, Ms Hightower cleared her throat and motioned to Dany to sit down.

"Girls..." said Sansa softly, Dany's Doc Marten-ed foot shot out and clipped Margaery in the shin, who struck back with a delicate manicured hand to the back of Dany's blonde head. Sansa felt suddenly vulnerable. She looked to her left. There was a girl there with darkish skin and curly black hair like Asha's.

"They do that every class they have together." she whispered, "They can't stand each other. Did you go to Baratheon Elementary?"

"No, I moved here in the summer from Toronto."

"Oh, my brother lives there." the girl put out her hand. "I'm Irri Khatchadourian."

"Sansa Stark. So what's this school like anyway?"

"How am I supposed to know? You could ask my brother, he's in 11th grade."

"Do a lot of people smoke drugs here?" Sansa whispered, Irri burst into stifled peals of laughter, her face started to flush red as she laughed silently,

"Okay, word of advice, don't call weed drugs."

...

Second period came too fast. Sansa told herself she wouldn't be late for Geography. On the staircase, Dany popped up behind her.

"Hey, what do you have next?"

"Geography." said Sansa softly.

"Me too! Ms Rougement, right?"

"Yeah."

"Apparently she's insane."

"...Is that actually your natural hair colour?"

"There are weirder colours than this, kid." Sansa and Dany continued up the stairs in silence, when they got to Geography, they were the first ones there, a woman with dark red hair and a dress to match was writing something on the board.

"Take a seat." she barked, never turning around and continuing to write with astounding velocity.

Dany and Sansa sat down at a table towards the back of the class, some more people started to file in. A girl with dirty blonde hair sat at the front of the class next to a girl with long black curls, a blonde boy came in after them, pausing to wink at Sansa, they were followed by others. Once everyone seemed to be there, the teacher turned around,

"Joffrey Baratheon?"

"Here."

"Shireen Baratheon?"

"Here!"

"Podrick Payne?" No answer, "Great."

"Is she the crazy one?" Sansa whispered.

"Let's just say she is."

"Kyra Snow?"

"Here."

"Sansa Stark?"

"Here!" Sansa screamed, the class turned to stare at her and Dany visibly tried to keep from laughing.

"Daenerys Targaryen?"

"Just Dany."

"Okay, Just Dany."

"Ms Rougement."

"I taught your brother." said the teacher to Dany, "Don't think I don't know about you Targaryens. Loras Tyrell?"

Before the boy in the front row with curly brown hair could answer, a man's voice came on over the PA system.

"Attention, Weirwood Heights. This is your principal Robert Baratheon speaking, it is with great sadness that I disrupt your studies with this news, but as students, you have a right to know, our longtime vice principal, Jon Arryn, is dead."

When Sansa got home, her parents looked frantic. The second she opened the door she glimpsed her father sprinting upstairs and her mother applying lipstick in the mirror in the living room, their 4-year old brother Rickon was eating a peanut butter and jam sandwich with a napkin stuffed into his collar to catch any raspberry-peanut butter traces that could find their way onto his little tie.

"Why are we all getting dressed up?" said Robb, Jon kicked off his shoes and turned on the TV.

"Kids, I need you to go pick up Bran and Arya from school, okay? We're going to the Baratheon's for dinner tonight." said Catelyn, wiping lipstick off her teeth with her finger.

The Baratheons were friends of the family and the founders of most of the schools in the suburb. Apparently Sansa was in a few classes with some of them, and clearly Robert ran the school.

The elementary school was like a smaller version of the high school. Arya and Bran were waiting outside. Arya impatiently tapping her fingers on the handles of Bran's wheelchair.

"Took you guys long enough!" she yelled, Bran wheeled himself over, "Are you still ordering pizza tonight?"

"No, we're going to the Baratheon's, I expect you to clean up nicely." said Sansa. She had never actually met the Baratheons before.

"This is stupid." said Bran, "It's the first day of school and we have to go to a dinner party? That's dumb."

"It's not dumb." said Robb, "It's not your decision."

Bran smirked and rolled away down the sidewalk.

"What a little ass." said Sansa,

"He's eleven, we were both like that."

"Yeah, but we didn't get to play the disabled card like he does."

"Well, then I guess you should break your back too then, Sansa."

...

The Baratheon house was more like a mansion, flanked by two slightly smaller but still huge houses that Catelyn had said housed Cersei Lannister's family.

Robert looked absolutely nothing like the pictures Ned Stark had posted on Facebook of their college adventures. He looked like he'd raided a liquor store and drunk up literally everything in his path, his wife Cersei was a whole other can of worms, tall and skinny and gorgeous with long blonde hair, Sansa caught Bran staring at her ass a few times throughout the night. Their children were clearly making Catelyn jealous, Tommen was 7, Myrcella was 11 and then there was Joffrey, the kid who had winked at Sansa during Geography.

Cersei poured everyone drinks and poured about six for herself, Bran and Myrcella disappeared into another room. After a while Robert and Ned left the room, looking secretive about something. Sansa excused herself to go to the washroom and followed them. She felt as shifty as Arya. She put her ear up to the door,

"...How do you think he died?"

"That's just it, I don't know, Ned. It's gotta be someone within the school board or one of our families."

"What about Lysa?"

"I haven't heard from her."

"I'll ask Catelyn, why do you think anyone would want him dead?"

"I don't know, but I can tell something's going to happen involving the school. I can just feel it, people won't be happy the vice principal is just dead without warning, parents will pull their kids, the school will consume itself, we need to keep it under wraps, but remember, I just know there's something more to it. Jon wouldn't just drop dead of his own accord, he wasn't even sick, someone has to be behind it, I don't know who and I don't know why. There's a shitstorm brewing, Ned, I'm never wrong about these things." Robert paused, Sansa suddenly felt as if she'd heard too much, "I want you to take his place."

"What, me? I'm not qualified."

"Neither was Jon and neither am I. You helped me take over the school board now help me keep it."

"I'd have to let Catelyn know, and the kids."

"I'll tell them myself. It'll be just like college, now I've gotta get back out there before Cersei poisons herself." Sansa heard footsteps heading towards the door and she sprinted down the hall to the living room.


	2. Dany I

Viserys had passed out again.

He was laying in the hallway outside Dany's room after drinking himself halfway to death. Dany couldn't help but feel bad. She loved her brother, he was the only family she had left and he tried to be a parent at 23 but was terrible at it. Dating a 12th grader from her school and drinking himself blind every night, it was depressing.

Dany got out of bed, stepped over him and went into the kitchen.

They were living off their parents' fortune and it somehow hadn't run out after 14 years. With the occasional financial assistance from Illyrio, their parents' friend who just happened to be just as loaded as they'd been, Viserys and Dany were doing alright. Their house was... okay if not a little small in comparison to her friends'.

She took a Coffee Crisp out of the freezer and snuck some vodka into a bottle of Fresca. She didn't feel like facing the Starbucks baristas after a cutting night because she felt like they could tell what she'd been doing. She was good at keeping it a secret, even Viserys didn't know. Scribbling a note on a piece of paper for her brother (You passed out, crackass, take an Advil and go the fuck to sleep.) she left the house.

Dany could feel the autumn coming, it wasn't cold yet but it sure wasn't summer anymore. That could only mean one thing, this year would just be another seasonal affective depression party like all the years before, finally ending around March. Dany dreaded it all year.

Drogo's brother Jhogo was waiting at the corner. Dany didn't know how she could harbour so much hatred for one twelve-year-old.

"Hey, Dany, got any weed?" Jhogo yelled, sprinting after her,

"It's been two years and I've never given you weed, isn't that a sign that I don't have any?" Dany snapped, walking faster. "Where's your fucking brother, I've been texting him all last night."

"Either his phone is dead or he's cheating on you." Dany kicked Jhogo in the leg, "I'm kidding! God, what're you gonna do when you and Drogo get married, are you just gonna abuse me forever? You wear those clunky-ass shoes, it hurts like a bitch when you kick me."

"Do you think I care? Where is he?"

"He left! He's probably at the school already, Christ."

"Har fucking har, Drogo's never early for anything."

"That's what she said!" Jhogo smirked, laughing so hard at his own joke that his face turned bright red.

"Really not that funny. Don't you have to get to school?"

"No, I have to be late, there's this new girl named Arya in my class and she's seriously hot."

"Calm down, you crazy little fuck. Go to your school."

"Hey, I'm a gentleman, I'm gonna walk you to school so nobody tries to fuck with you."

"You're 12, and I don't want you to walk with me."

"If you insist." said the little Armenian, adjusting his snapback. He's trying really hard. thought Dany, "See ya."

"Better get to school..."

Dany continued down the street, her forearms stinging against the inside of Drogo's jacket. She silently hoped they weren't bleeding or Drogo would ask her what happened and that wasn't a discussion she wanted to have.

The Khatchadourian family had been related to Armenian royalty at some point. Viserys frequently referred to them as the Kardashians. Drogo's parents were both ex-equestrians with a long history of gang violence. His sisters Irri and Jhiqui were continuing the legacy. Viserys had set the two of them up with a hope of marriage and Khatchadourian money in his pocket, a few months later he realized that Drogo was 16 and didn't really give a damn about restoring the Targaryen name to it's former aristocratic glory and started to develop a deep loathing for the relationship.

Dany went up the front walk of the school and saw Sansa standing there, who waved. Dany waved back.

"Hey, I was waiting for you!" said Sansa perkily, "You'll never guess what I heard last night."

"You're really enthusiastic..."

...

"Hello students, my name is Mr Mormont, welcome to Ninth Grade Academic Canadian History."

"Youe last name is Mormon?" said a girl named Kyra at the front of the class. Mr Mormont looked annoyed.

"So. Which one of you can tell me about the Pacific Scandal?" Sansa raised her hand, Dany decided she would too, as did half the class. "I'm shocked, you really should have learned it in middle school. Alright, you, the little beauty in the back." Mr Mormont pointed at Dany,

"Well, the Pacific Scandal was a political scandal in Canada involving allegations of bribes being accepted by members of the Conservative government in the attempts of private interests to influence the bidding for a national rail contract."

"Too vague."

"John A MacDonald was charged with accepting illicit funds from Sir Hugh Allan."

"Good enough." said Mr Mormont, smirking. Dany suddenly felt uncomfortable, Sansa sneezed violently. She could already tell she was going to hate history for the second year in a row.

...

"You should come over after school." said Sansa, "We don't have any homework and my parents wanted to know if I was making any friends."

"Uh, sure." Dany smirked and thought of the bottle of vodka-slash-Fresca in her bag.

"Joffrey Baratheon is hot."

"Ew."

"Why? He's gorgeous and my dad is friends with his dad."

"He's a Baratheon, first of all, and second he's a dick. All the Armenians hate him."

"There's a lot of Armenians at the school."

"They're all different families though, there's the Khatchadourians which is Drogo and Irri's family, and the Vochkarians who are just kind of weird, and the Kashishians and the Karadjians-"

"That's a lot. Ooh, do you think Theon Greyjoy is hot?"

"I have a boyfriend."

"Yeah, but like, if you didn't."

"Isn't he really good friends with your brother?"

"Yeah, he lives with us, it's so annoying because I thought my brother was bad, but then you add in my half-brother AND Theon... It's a nightmare."

Does she always talk about guys all the time? Dany thought to herself, Kind of depressing, she's acting like the annoying bitch in every preteen movie ever, maybe she's just trying to make friends, maybe I should take the moral high ground here...

"Here." said Dany, handing over her bottle of Fresca-slash-vodka, "Drink this."

"What is it?"

"It's good. You'll like it, it's sweet."


	3. Sansa II

Sansa went over to Margaery's after school. The Tyrell house was huge, more importantly, Margaery's brothers were absolutely gorgeous.

Loras was a year older than them, but had failed Geography. Willas was two years older and in 11th grade, Garlan was in 10th grade with Loras but he wasn't home.

"So I heard Dany was at your house yesterday."

"Yeah, I invited her over, she looked depressed."

"Oh she always looks like that."

"Yeah, she gave me this Fresca that had vodka in it."

"Ugh, she's so retarded. She doesn't even have any friends except maybe the Armenians and I heard she's pregnant." said Margaery.

Sansa was shocked, "But she's 14!"

"I know, isn't it weird? It's just a rumour though, we don't know if it's true. Yet." Margaery smirked and pulled a bag of marshmallows out of her closet, she passed Sansa a few. "Don't let anyone know I have these, my mom doesn't let me eat them anymore because I used to be fat when I was little." An excited look passed through Margaery's green doe eyes, "Hey, I have a great idea."

...

Sansa followed Margaery as she ran up the grassy hill of the childrens' playground and into the cluster of trees behind it, a pungent, grassy, smoky smell hit her square in the face.

Joffrey, Loras and Renly Baratheon were sitting on the grass with joints in their hands, Sansa could almost hear her mother's voice 'Sansa Sophie Stark, if I catch you smoking any drug of any kind I will send you to live with your aunt and not feel bad about it!'

"Heeeyyy." said Margaery sitting down on the grass and shifting her way almost into Renly's lap, Sansa sat nervously.

"Hey Sansa." said Joffrey, God, he was gorgeous... Sansa waved and smiled, "Oh, I actually wanted to talk to you about something." Joffrey dropped her cigarette and ground it out on the ground, he started walking and Sansa followed him. "So, you just moved here?"

"Yeah, from Toronto."

"Your dad and my dad are pretty good friends so we'll be seeing a lot of each other."

"Oh, that's... awesome-" Sansa was cut off when she heard a squeal across the park, Arya burst out of the trees with a boy at her heels, he was chubby, with mousy hair. His name was Mycah, he and Arya had been screwing around together since they moved in, Nymeria, Arya's husky was running along with them and yapping,

"Isn't that your sister?"

"Ugh, yeah." said Sansa, rolling her eyes in annoyance, Arya and Mycah threw some pretend punches at each other and giggled, sprinting off across the park, Nymeria squirmed and barked and skipped after them, "ARYA!" Sansa yelled at her, "STOP IT, BOTH OF YOU, GET OVER HERE."

Arya and Mycah ignored her and started to wrestle on the ground, Joffrey turned to her, smiled, and headed towards the kids,

"Hey!" he yelled, "That's her sister you're hitting."

Mycah jumped up, adjusting his t-shirt, Arya leapt clumsily to her feet,

"We were just playing." said Mycah, "We were cold and didn't want to go home and get our coats, so we decided to just run around."

"Yeah, he wasn't hurting me." said Arya, Nymeria rubbed her nose into Sansa's leg.

"Oh, then I should fight you?" said Joffrey to Mycah, "You know, for practice."

"Oh, I don't know." said Mycah, looking at the ground.

"Come on, Joffrey, let's just go, they're just stupid little kids."

"You're stupid!" Arya barked,

"Come on, Mycah." said Joffrey, "Don't be scared."

"I'm not scared." said Mycah defiantly, he put up his fists, Joffrey sneered and slammed his fist into Mycah's nose. The younger boy hit the ground, blood spraying out of his nose. Joffrey kicked Mycah in the gut.

"Stop!" Arya screamed, "Stop, asshole!"

"Arya, shut the fuck up." Sansa demanded.

"GET UP, MYCAH!" Joffrey shouted, "Aren't you going to defend yourself?"

"Stop..." Mycah choked out, "...can't breathe..." Joffrey kept going, Sansa wanted to look away but she knew Joffrey would notice. Suddenly, Joffrey was on the ground.

Arya had roundhouse-kicked him in the head. He was laying on the ground, holding the back of his head, Mycah shakily stood up, Sansa looked at him and mouthed 'get home now', she glared at her sister as Mycah took off across the park towards his house, Arya glared back,

"ARYA, YOU LITTLE BITCH!" Sansa screamed, slapping her sister, Arya kicked Joffrey in the leg and sprinted off across the park after Mycah, Nymeria followed yipping. "Oh God, Joffrey, I'm so sorry, are you okay, I have Advil in my purse, or Tylenol, or just weed or something..."

"...get the fuck away from me, bitch." Joffrey snapped, Sansa was shocked, "GO!"

Sansa turned and slowly walked out of the park.


	4. Dany II

Negative.

Dany squinted at the pregnancy test, negative negative negative was all it said. For the sixth time that month. It better be fucking negative, Dany thought to herself, if I'm pregnant I'm going to kill Drogo and myself.

"Daaaannnnyyyyy." yelled Viserys, "Get out of the bathroom, I have your Prozac."

"IN A MINUTE."

"Fine, I'll leave it out here." Dany heard her brother's footsteps going away down the hall. She rinsed the white stick and stuffed it into the pocket of her jeans. She opened the bathroom door and grabbed the Prozac. Viserys was on the phone with Doreah in the other room.

Doreah went to her school, she was in 12th grade. She was friends with Drogo's brother and always said hi to Dany, God, it was annoying. Doreah was annoying and Dany was almost certain Viserys was on the verge of being arrested because of the way they fucked through the night. Doreah borrowed her clothes, her makeup and her shoes even though Dany was a size eight and Doreah a nine. Doreah constantly complained that Dany was 'too goth' and on the off night that she stayed over would text Dany at two am to turn the heat up.

She headed for the door, "I'm going out."

"With who? Where? Why?" Viserys interrogated, putting down his phone.

"I'm just meeting Sansa."

Viserys stood up, "Sansa Stark?"

"Yeah, so?"

Viserys looked terrified for a second. "Don't tell her where we live."

...

Drogo and Irri were on the bridge on the edge of the suburb in a cloud of cigarette smoke. Dany stood over them.

"Where the fuck were you yesterday?" she yelled,

"Our parents found a shitload of coke in Jhiqui's room and we staged an intervention." said Drogo, "Neither of us wanted to be there but she threatened to call the Dr Phil Show."

"Was your phone dead?"

"I told you, Jhogo stole my charger."

"Well, steal it back."

"Rakharo got arrested." said Irri, "He had vodka on school property."

"So did I."

"It's probably because he's a Karadjian and Principal Baratheon doesn't trust Armenians. He thinks we all conspired to kill Mr Arryn."

"He thinks everyone did." said Dany. "When someone dies on the school board, there's a shitstorm. Give me a cigarette."

Drogo handed her a cigarette and a lighter. She lit it, broke it slightly in half and smoked from the side.

"You're inhaling cancer." said Drogo.

"You really think I give a shit?"

"...What the fuck is Rakharo doing?" Irri screamed at her phone, "If he screws this up and gets expelled, so help me God..."

"Did you hear Mr Mormont ranting yesterday?" Drogo asked his sister, "He heard that the Starks moved here and got pissed."

"I think I heard it outside the door."

"Why does he hate Sansa's family?" as if on cue, Sansa texted Dany,

Come over my sister's freaking out

...

The Stark house was air-conditioned in October. A framed picture of little Sansa in full pageant hair and makeup stared down at Dany from a shelf. Sansa dragged Dany upstairs before her parents could see anything.

"So I need your opinion on something?"

"What is it? Drogo and Irri were in the middle of telling me something important."

"You know Joffrey?"

"Yeah, he's an asshole."

"Well, my sister pissed him off, and her friend was there and they all got into a fight and then Joffrey's bodyguard..." Sansa inhaled deeply, "His bodyguard beat up my sister's friend, he's 12."

"...The fuck?"

"Yeah, my sister's really pissed about it, but you know, it's not that bad, right?"

"Why are you still into him? He's a dick and his bodyguard fucked up a 7th grader."

"I just really need a boyfriend."

"What about Willas Tyrell, he's desperate."

"I thought you hated the Tyrells."

"Willas isn't that bad. Just talk to him."

"He's not as hot as Joffrey."

"Oh, my God, you're exhausting."

"Well, excuse me, who is this Drogo anyway?"

"It's not your problem!"

"Well, you're getting all fired up about Joffrey!" Sansa giggled, twirling her hair around her finger, "Oh, and I also wanted to ask if you and your brother were available on Thanksgiving."

"We're just doing what we do every year."

"Which is...?"

"We get a bunch of Chicken McNuggets and Viserys points out all the problems with the packaging. Then proceeds to get completely obliterated and tell me how pretty I am and why I shouldn't end up like him. Then he gets pissed and rants about everything I've done to make both our lives miserable, after that he starts apologizing profusely and sucks up another box of wine. If he passes out, I usually go to Drogo's house and get high in his backyard while his grandma lectures the whole family on why they need to go back to Armenia. By that point it's nine o'clock. Irri comes outside and politely asks me if I need a ride home because it's getting dark and Grandma Khatchadourian is pretty wasted. At this point I'm at a crossroads. Do I stay or do I leave? I call Viserys, if he picks up I leave, in which case I show up and Doreah is asleep in our kitchen. The next morning the house smells like wine and pot smoke. Happy Turkey Day."

Sansa was silent.

"Are you sure you don't want to come over? My mom makes really good cucumber salad. And sometimes we get one of those big cakes from Loblaws that can accommodate like sixty people."

"Viserys told me not to let you know where we live, so either he's paranoid, which is actually pretty likely, or the Starks and Targaryens aren't a good combination."

"Oh, we're not. If you, like, ask my great-aunt or someone. But it's the 21-st century!"

"Exactly, there are people who want my brother and I dead."

Sansa's eyes got wide, "Shit." Dany raised her eyebrows condescendingly. "Well, I know my dad doesn't, or my mom, they said you seemed nice."

"I've never met your parents."

"I showed them your Facebook and Tumblr."

Dany rolled her eyes, "Why...?"

"Principal Baratheon was talking shit about y'all when we had dinner there, he said your brother is a psycho and you're going to turn out just the same. He also said he's going to make you suffer."

"Oh, wonderful. Anything else?"

"Uhhh-"

"I don't want to know."

"...Your brother's kinda hot."

"JESUS CHRIST, SANSA."


	5. Sansa III

Sansa walked into Geography quickly, trying desperately to hide the unfortunate tear in her jeans that began at her crotch and continued down the inside of her thigh. Dany wasn't in Geography today. Of course, after everything she'd said the day before, she'd be embarrassed to show her face probably. Sansa took a seat at the side of the class, next to Joffrey's habitual seat. Sure enough, after about five minutes, he showed up.

"Hey Sansa." he said with a smile, a sexy smile, Sansa felt her cheeks flush an angry red.

"Hi Joffrey." she squeaked out,

"I'm so sorry about yesterday, really, I was high."

"Oh, I know, Mycah and Arya were being little assholes anyway."

"How is he?"

"He's got a wrist thing but I don't think it's broken, and it wasn't your fault anyway."

"Yeah, my mom sent my bodyguard after him, she's pretty paranoid."

"ALRIGHT PEOPLE." said Melisandre stalking into the room, pulling down a projector screen, "Phones away, open your books to chapter one, we're going to be talking about natural disasters this unit and as exciting as that may sound, you will be tested." a collective groan sounded around the class.

"I like that drawing." said Sansa, pointing at an elaborate pen illustration in the front page of Joffrey's notebook, it was a diamond surrounded by multiple other gem-looking things, some clouds, a couple of quotes and some Indian writing Sansa didn't recognize,

"Oh that? Kyra drew it."

"She's dating Theon, isn't she."

"Yeah, she's cute but, not as cute as you."

Sansa felt like her face was going to melt off.

"Sansa!" Melisandre called across the room, holding her hand over the receiver of the class phone, "You're wanted in the office, bring your bag and everything, you're just getting a schedule change."

...

"So, Sansa," said Principal Baratheon, "You're not in trouble. I just wanted to tell you that you won't be attending Ms Rougement's Day 1 Period 2 Geography class anymore, instead you'll have math in room 314 with Mr Lannister, and you'll have Geography when and where you would usually have Math."

"Oh, okay."

"You seem like a nice girl." he said, "Your dad and I go way back."

"That's...nice."

"Say, Sansa, what can you tell me about Daenerys Targaryen? You ladies are friends, right?"

"Yeah..."

"Do you think you could tell me a little bit about her? Maybe about her brother, his girlfriend? I believe he's dating Doreah Kashishian, isn't he?"

"...I don't...I don't know."

"Okay." said Principal Baratheon, "You may go to class now."

Sansa stood up awkwardly, using her bag as a barrier between the tear in her pants and the rest of the room, she sprinted away down the hall. What the fuck did he want to know about Dany for.

There are people who want my brother and I dead.

Sansa shuddered and ran faster, dodging an Armenian girl who glared at her and almost breaking her face on a wall of lockers before she reached Math Class.

She handed Mr Lannister her note. He was tall and blonde, an object of obsession for many older girls, he was also Joffrey's uncle. Complicated. Sansa sat down next to Jojen Reed and opened her notebook.

"You know what..." said Mr Lannister, "I have an idea. Everyone, follow me."

He opened the door and motioned for the class to follow him, after about two minutes, they found themselves at the office, a few voices emanating from inside the door, the shades were drawn so nobody could see the source of the voices.

"I bet you smell like blackberry jam!" said a muffled male voice,

"I'm gonna tie you up-." said a woman,

"Disgusting." said Mr Lannister disdainfully, "Listen to them, it's someone different every day."

"What do you mean?" said Trystane Martell, "They aren't... prostitutes, are they?"

"I can't be sure." said Mr Lannister, "Last year I could have sworn I heard Ms Rougement in there. That's either one of the female teachers here, a prostitute or some waitress from down the street."

"Let's bust down the door!" said Mya Stone, "I wanna see what he's doing!"

"Are you nuts?" said Edric Storm, "We can't just barge in there."

"Edric's right, for once in his life.." said Mr Lannister. "You all like this better than algebra, though." The class all nodded in agreement.

...

"WE'RE HOME." yelled Robb as they entered the foyer, Theon sat down on the couch. He'd been living with them since his father kicked him out. Catelyn came running down the stairs,

"Hi, kids, how was school?"

"My timetable changed." said Sansa, sitting down next to Theon and tossing her shoes across the room. Bran rolled up next to the couch.

"I hate my teacher." he yelled, "She's a dick."

"BRANDON!" Catelyn shouted, "Language."

"She kept calling me an inspiration today and all that BS. She's a dick. Oh, and Arya threw up in the hallway."

Catelyn bristled and turned to Sansa, "So, Cersei says there's been a lot going on between you and Joffrey, some... flirting? And stuff like that?" Catelyn grinned,

Sansa rolled her eyes, "None of your business."

"It's definitely my business, as your mother..."

Arya traipsed into the living room.

"Rickon pissed his pants."

Catelyn stood still. "Language, Arya." Rickon ran into the living room with his pants around his ankles, "Oh, okay, Ricky, let's go, you need to tell Mommy when you have to go, okay?"

When their mother was out of earshot, Bran punched Arya in the arm, "YOU PUKED AT SCHOOL!"

"I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU-" Arya screeched, Robb and Jon pried the two kids apart,

"Why do you all have to be so ridiculous? Jesus." said Sansa in exasperation.

"Someone's a bitch." said Jon, "I thought being in love made people nicer."

"I'M NOT IN LOVE." Sansa yelled, jumping up. Nobody said anything. Bran rolled his eyes,

"My teacher is a dick."


	6. Dany III

Dany woke up early. The sun wasn't fully up and her room was freezing cold. Doreah and Viserys were clearly still asleep due to the lack of background noise from Hoarders reruns. She missed being little and being able to fall asleep next to Viserys before she was awakened by one of Illyrio's employees and carried back to bed. They'd been kicked out of their father's friend's house after Viserys turned 18 and recieved a cheque from him every month.

The digital alarm clock by her bed said 8:30. Half an hour until she needed to be at school. She wasn't convinced that she could deal with Ms Hightower today. Her phone vibrated in the plastic chip bowl she'd left it in overnight. It was probably Irri or Drogo but she ignored it anyway.

...

"...And that, students, is the comma splice." said Ms Hightower as the bell went off. "Okay, be sure to complete your short story for Monday, have a wonderful and  _safe_  weekend!" The class stood up and began to pack their bags. Sansa passed by Dany,

"Do you have French next?" she asked.

"Yeah, but I'm skipping." Dany replied, trying to make a quick escape and not drag Sansa into any Armenian problems. The Vochkharian family and the Kakhardian family had been feuding with the Khatchadourians, Karadjians and Kashishians for about a month. Irri had texted her to skip second period and meet them outside the school.

"Can you do that?"

"Yeah, it's fine, can you cover for me?"

"Sure..." Sansa was silent, "Can I cover for you and then come with you?"

"Are you sure you want to? You don't know any of them..."

"I know you!"

...

"Everyone, this is Sansa Stark." said Dany to deafening silence. Irri whispered something to Rakharo who suppressed laughter. Jhiqui tried not to smirk. "What did you say, Irri?"

"I said she's so white she's glowing."

"Yeah, sorry, I don't get a lot of sun because I burn easily." said Sansa, grinning. Dany glanced at Drogo who mouthed 'what the fuck is she doing here'.

"She's not going to do anything stupid. She wants to help. Her parents are friends with principal Baratheon so it's actually better to have her here."

"I don't know." said Qotho, "She's, like, insanely white."

"So am I." said Dany, "And that's racist. Can we address the real problem here, please?"

"Okay, so, last night, Jhaqo called from Toronto saying that there was a huge fight between our cousin Pono and one of the Vochkharians." said Drogo, "I think it was Fogo but we can't be sure."

"I could ask Eroeh." said Sansa, "She's a Vochkharian, right? She won't suspect me."

"If you're asking about a fight between a Vochkharian and a Khatchadourian, she'll suspect you." said Qotho coldly, "You're so-" Qotho was cut off when Jhiqui smacked him across the face, "Bitch!"

"You don't have to be a dick, she doesn't know."

Sansa looked at the ground, Dany suddenly realized this had been a stupid idea.

"There are a lot of opportunities to confront them about it, right?" said Rakharo, "Like, within the next month, probably."

"Toronto's only an hour away if we drive." said Drogo, "We could go later tonight if we really wanted to."

"Then why not?" said Irri, "They could have killed Pono, we have to do something."

"Why are y'all even fighting?" Sansa blurted, Dany slapped a hand over her mouth. "Sorry."

"It's complicated." said Jhiqui.

"Offff course it is." said Sansa, almost condescendingly, Dany heard Qotho whisper what sounded like another white-related insult.

"Well, what about the party next weekend?" said Rakharo, "They're obviously going to show up, if Eroeh tells them, which she probably already has, what do we do then?"

"Whatever we have to do."

"We won't kill anyone, right?"

Qotho glared at Sansa, " _We_  won't kill anyone,  _you_  definitely won't either."

"Shut the fuck up, Qotho." said Irri.

"I'm sorry, but she can't just waltz in here and spy for Principal Baratheon, with her white ass-"

"JUST STOP!" Dany screamed, "After the party, if they haven't agreed to leave us alone, what do we do then?"

Rakharo smirked, "We'll just have to come up with something."

* * *

Doreah was almost finished setting up all her belongings when Dany got home. After she had moved in, she'd been trying to act like an actual member of the Targaryen family. Viserys even endorsed this BS.

"Where's my brother?" Dany demanded, tossing her bag onto the kitchen table,

"I'm right here." Viserys announced, crawling out from under the table.

"I don't want to know what the two of you were doing under there."

"You reek." said Viserys, waving a hand in front of his face. "Jesus, not everyone enjoys Eau de Stoned as much as you do."

"I was smoking with Irri and Jhiqui."

"Weed again?"

"Yes, it was great. Don't even get that look on your face, at least it wasn't meth."

"Can you please stop doing that? I don't want you ending up like me, remember when I was 14?"

Doreah grinned, pushing her hair out of her face.

"Can you stop pretending like you actually give a shit-"

"Jesus Christ, Dany, if I didn't give a shit about you, you would be homeless right now-"

"I do so love your guilt trips, Viserys, please give me another one."

Doreah looked awkward in the background of the living room, for once she didn't say anything.

"If it weren't for you, our mother would still be alive-"

"One more, make it a good one..."

"You're an ungrateful, insolent, mooching little bitch!" Viserys raised a hand and brought it down on Dany's cheek, her head snapped sideways and Doreah squeaked in horror. The room was cast into silence except for the faint vibrating of Doreah's phone, which she was too transfixed to answer, "God, Dany, I'm so sorry-"

"GO TO HELL!" Dany shouted, throwing the door open and sprinting out into the street.

 


	7. Chapter 7

The main office of the high school was small and white, nothing like the welcoming, optimistic one of the elementary school, Ned tried to avoid the glare of Ms Mordane the lunchlady. A mousy-haired receptionist stood up,

"Are you Mr Stark?"

"Yes, I'm the new vice principal." said Ned nervously, Lunchlady Mordane glared some more. God, she was terrifying. A swarm of teenagers rushed by the office in a cloud of pot smoke, Ned could have sworn he saw Joffrey and Sansa in that crowd, he made a mental note to talk to her later.

Robert busted out of his office, "There he is! The new second-in-command, right-hand-man, hand-of-the-king! Please excuse this one... what's your name again?" Robert asked the receptionist.

"Falyse." she said, "Remember, you hand-picked me from-"

"Yeah yeah yeah, like I remember." Robert walked down a small hallway, "This, son, is your office. Feel free to make this into your home for the next few years."

Ned put down the cardboard box of his belongings on the empty desk and took a seat, just as he reached into the box, Robert turned around,

"What?"

"So... Sansa and Daenerys Targaryen are friends? I made the mistake of questioning Sansa about it."

"Well, yes, she's been at the house a couple times, she's really a nice girl, Robert, she's nothing like Aerys or Viserys."

"Aerys was nothing like Aerys before he started to spiral downward. Ned, we need to do something about her. The both of them, we'd be doing the world and the school board a favour."

"Are you suggesting we kill them?"

"Them and those no-good Khatchadourians. Bharbo Khatchadourian's son dating Daenerys Targaryen and Viserys fucking one of the Kashishian girls. It's a recipe for disaster."

"I'm not afraid of the Khatchadourians, Bharbo and Adelina don't even speak English, they aren't a threat to us, the board or our children, and the Kashishians? A single mother, an absent father and four daughters?"

"Don't underestimate those sluts, Ned, I've seen the way Doreah looks at that Targaryen girl, she'd risk anything so that Daenerys can get her way. And Drogo Khatchadourian? The youngest son of one of the most dangerous men in the GTA, already taller and smarter than his father and both his brothers, not to mention 24 years younger, that kid mixed with Aerys and Rhaella Targaryen's mentally ill dragonspawn? What happens if that little skank gets pregnant? The kid would be a 6 foot 6 schizophrenic rage factory, it would only take a few years."

"The Khatchadourians aren't a threat, neither are Viserys and Daenerys, so let's just put this conversation to bed."

"Would you put a conversation to bed if it concerned your children and your wife? Do you really think that 'nice girl' wouldn't turn on your daughter the first chance she gets? Not the mention the way the Khatchadourians would gladly destroy everything you hold dear."

"Sansa has told us about Daenerys, a lot of really sad things, concerning a lot of depression and some self-harm-"

"What happens to things that keep all their rage inside?" Robert shook up a beer can and popped it open, amber-coloured liquid spilled over his hands and the tile floor,

"Robert, you're my best friend, but you're paranoid."

"Ned, I know a few men who could make their deaths look like accidents. Daenerys is depressed, we'll say she killed herself, Drogo is taller and smarter than his father? We'll say his father was sick of being outdone by his son, Bharbo's in prison, Drogo's in hell. Viserys, that crack-brained drunk, could die a tragic death of alcohol poisoning, no-one needs to know." Robert got a dark look on his face, "The other Khatchadourians should be easy and Doreah Kashishian will be too scared to put another toe out of line."

"Robert, you simply can't."

"Ned, I'm the principal of this school, if the time should come that I'm not anymore, control of these delinquents will pass to you. Then, it'll be up to you to get therapy for the Targaryen bitch, or make sure Drogo's whore sisters aren't selling meth by the pool, but as long as I'm here, anyone who puts me and my family in danger will be shown no mercy."

Ned placed his stapler on his desk next to a photograph of Catelyn and Robb, "She's 14, Bharbo's son is 16."

"Daenerys is on the verge of a breakdown and Drogo is like a serial killer on steroids. When she snaps, and he goes along with it, the school could very well burn. That girl is Rhaegar Targaryen's sister."

"You killed Rhaegar Targaryen."

Robert was silent as he remembered when he'd shot Aerys Targaryen's 20 year old son outside his house.

"He had a gun to Lyanna's head, your sister, and you're trying to give me a reason to have not shot him?"

"He shot Lyanna anyway, Robert. I saw him blow her head to bits, and just before he did, I saw you put a bullet through his heart."

"It was what had to be done. Aerys had raised him into a killer."

"Viserys saw, he was seven years old, maybe that's why he's so fucked up."

"Are you saying I spurred the mental illness of a seven-year-old?"

"I don't know, but maybe if you hadn't shot Rhaegar-"

"Lyanna would have lived? Ned, what are you- Jesus. The Targaryens will die, so will that Armenian trash." Robert paused, "Welcome on board."

 


	8. Dany IV

"He hit you, didn't he?"

Dany whipped around to see Drogo standing next to her locker. She shoved her jacket in.

"He hasn't done it in a year, I think he's finally getting better."

"You can't live somewhere where you're in danger. Isn't that why Theon Greyjoy moved in with the Starks?"

"Theon Greyjoy was being abused in literally every way possible, this is the first time he's hit me in a year, and you know what? I provoked it."

"Isn't that what rape victims always say?"

"Are you comparing this small little bruise to rape?" Drogo took hold of her wrist, "Let go, Jesus fucking Christ-"

"Show me your arms."

"What the fuck-"

"Do it, Dany, or I swear to God, I'll take it upon myself to tell the guidance counsellor-"

"Jesus, fine." Dany wrenched her arm free and rolled up the sleeves of her shirt, Drogo stared blankly at the cuts in her forearms.

"Why did you start again?"

"Drogo, quit, I need to go to History."

"You're not solving anything, you can't blame seasonal affective disorder for this."

"Actually I can."

"People die from this, Dany."

"I'm not dying."

"Not now."

Dany inhaled deeply. "I'll talk to you later, I can't be late or Mr Mormont will lose it."

...

Dany tried to sneak into class at the back of the room.

"You look lovely today, Daenerys." said Mr Mormont. Shit, he'd seen her... Dany took her seat next to Sansa. "So, today, we're going to take a break from the usual lesson plan and talk a little bit about the history of this area. Does anyone know what this suburb was originally called before the name was changed to Westeros Acres?"

"Well." said Kyra, "There were multiple names, Winterfell, King's Landing, Highgarden, Storm's End and Dragonstone, to name a few, and then there are the suburbs of the Vale and the East.

"Very good, Kiara."

"Kyra."

"Whatever. The area was divided by streets, who here lives on Kings Road?"

Joffrey and Lancel raised their hands,

"What about Direwolf Boulevard?"

Sansa's hand shot up triumphantly.

"Pentos Crescent?"

Dany reluctantly raised her hand.

"And who can tell me the names of the first families to ever settle in Westeros Acres?"

Jhiqui stood up, "The Starks, the Lannisters, the Baratheons, the Tyrells and the Targaryens." she said, confidently.

"We have one of each of these great families in the room today, Joffrey Baratheon, Margaery Tyrell, Sansa Stark and Daenerys Targaryen. Who can tell me some of the families who came after?"

"The Greyjoys, the Tullys, the Armenian families, the Martells and the Arryns, however, many of the Martells moved to the suburb east of here and the Arryns relocated to The Vale." said Margaery. "Many family members dispersed to Toronto as well, such as some of the Khatchadourian family, a few Greyjoys, and more recently, Sansa's family, who moved back during the summer."

"Very articulate, Margaery, now at the time that all these families lived here, there was a bit of imbalance, see, the GTA, while we are not known for much, does hold our educational standards in very high esteem, which is why our school board is so hugely important. Now, the Targaryens did have control of the school board for generations, since, I'd say, around the late 1800s. But in 1988, the Baratheon family rebelled with the help of the other houses, a shock after the failed Greyjoy Rebellion of 1967. Since that time, Mr Baratheon has been our principal, and the Targaryen family was in shambles."

Dany silently prayed that this prick wouldn't talk about her parents.

"So, is that it? said Jhiqui, "A bunch of families fighting? How stupid, and where were the Khatchadourians when this-"

"Shush, I'll be getting to that soon. Rhaella Targaryen fled to Toronto after her son and husband were killed." Dany started to seethe to herself, "With the help of Illyrio Mopatis, a benefactor of the school board and a friend of the Targaryens, the Khatchadourian family and sheer determination, Viserys and Daenerys Targaryen moved home, but sadly, their mother died in childbirth."

Dany was about ready to kill someone, every eye in the class was boring into the back of her head.

"That's so tragic..." said Sansa, glancing at Dany, Margaery tried not to giggle. Dany was about to cut a bitch.

"Yes, tragic, but interesting. How long will it be until the next rebellion? Is it in the process now? Who do you think will start it? Write two pages on this for tomorrow, now, Jhiqui asked about the Khatchadourians, well, I guess I should talk about the Khatchadourian-versus-Vochkharian conflict, now, Vochkhar is the Armenian word for lamb-"

...

Dany was putting concealer on the bruise in the washroom after class. Everyone seemed tense after Mr Mormont's talk. Suddenly, the urge came over her to go right back into his class, seemingly on auto-pilot, she did.

He was sharpening pencils.

"Hello, Dany, looking very nice."

"I have a question."

"Fire away, sweetheart."

"Okay... How would one go about starting a rebellion?"

"Are we...?"

"No, just curious."

"Well, it's not simple, you'd have to garner a large cult following, and you could bring about gang violence, subtle social war or of course, just flat-out fighting, which is how the Rebellion of '88 was brought about. You're just like your brother, he was always curious about these things."

"Viserys hated History, it was his worst subject."

"Not that one, Rhaegar."

"I never met him, Mr Baratheon shot him dead in 1999...the year I was born."

"Yes, it was a tragic loss, he was a nice young man." Mr Mormont lowered his voice, "Daenerys, you're an ambitious young lady, I can see it in your eyes and your actions. But you have a kind and gentle heart, despite a tough exterior. However, I have full confidence in you to turn this around, with the help of the Armenians, you and your brother could be the beginning of the next Targaryen dynasty, even though your brother really is a fucking idiot."

"That was a nice pep talk."

"Be careful, Dany. I don't want to see you hurt, the Baratheons are a dangerous family, be careful who you trust and keep on your toes, I'd hate to see someone harm your pretty little face."

Dany fingered her bruise,

"I wouldn't dream of getting in trouble, Mr Mormont. Of course not."

"Good. See you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow." said Dany with a smile as she turned on her heel and walked out of the room.


	9. Sansa IV

"No, mom, okay? No. Alright, put her on, I don't give what Grandma says anyway- Hi Grandma, yeah, you know what, I am and you can't stop me. Fine, come find me, you don't know how to track my phone- Oh you know a guy? Ha, so do I. See you at Thanksgiving, no, I don't need socks." Margaery slammed her phone down. "FUCKING GRANDMA."

Sansa had been at Margaery's house since the end of school, Mr Mormont's lecture about families had left her exhausted and confused, she ate another handful of marshmallows.

"So History was pretty weird today, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, and funny, did you see Dany's face? What a dick, she was about to let go of all her Targaryen crazy on us. That family was famous for being mentally ill, they all thought they were dragons!"

"Really?"

"Yeah, apparently her brother tells people not to wake the dragon, and by that he means himself."

"Viserys is actually kind of hot, if you really look at him."

"I don't know, I just know that their dad was schizophrenic, so was his dad, and  _his_ dad and it keeps going, I bet it's genetic. But I think Dany's heading the same way, dating an Armenian and cutting and shit."

"I think it's sad that she's depressed."

"It would be sadder if I actually gave a fuck about her, like, if it was you, I'd feel bad. But it's Dany Targaryen, and honestly, she'd be better off dead."

...

Outside the Tyrell house, it looked like an early Autumn. Red leaves covered the ground, Sansa traipsed down the street and turned left towards Direwolf Boulevard, but instead of proceeding to her house, turned left again towards Pentos Crescent.

Dany and Viserys's house was the smallest one on the street, only one floor as opposed to two. Two men were standing outside, Sansa recognized them, she'd seen them around Joffrey's house, they looked dangerous, muscular, they kept knocking on the door aggressively. Sansa leapt into the bushes. The men knocked aggressively on the door again. Sansa was suddenly terrified, why were they there, what the fuck were they doing?

After about two minutes they left. Sansa saw a girl with darkish skin and light brown hair peeking out of the window, then the door opening. Sansa crept out of the bush and ran towards the door.

Viserys answered, God, he was gorgeous.

"...Sansa Stark?!" Jesus Christ, he knew her name,

"Yes, sir..."

Viserys stared at her for a second and then turned around, "DANYYY..." he yelled, "YOUR FRIEND IS HERE."

The most awkward 15 seconds of Sansa's life followed, her palms started to sweat and Viserys stared at her, until Dany busted out of her room,

"Hi...Sansa."

Sansa smiled awkwardly, "I... uh, got lost. I'll go home now."

 


	10. Catelyn I

"So you mean to tell me... you're going to hunt down and kill two innocent high school students? Ned, they're children, Daenerys and Drogo belong to someone-"

"Catelyn, it's not set in stone yet, and Robert was probably drunk anyway-"

"You're quitting!" said Catelyn, standing up and pacing around the bedroom, "That's it, I won't have you arranging to have two minors killed."

"Cat, I can't quit." Ned put his arms around Catelyn's waist, she shoved him off. "Kitty-cat, come on..."

"Don't call me Kitty-cat, you're a killer, Ned, you and Robert and the whole school board, Varys, Pycelle, the Lannisters, Petyr-"

"Oh, Petyr Baelish? The treasurer, your 9th grade fuckbuddy?"

"Oh yes, I'm still fucking Petyr, haha, ya caught me!" Catelyn laughed, throwing up her hands in mock defeat. "Don't let him kill any children."

"We might not even kill the boyfriend."

"You're still killing a little girl, Sansa's friend! She was at the house a few days ago!"

"It's only for the good of the school board, and it's in everyone's best interest, the girl is suicidal, depressed, a cutter, and that brother of hers is no-good white trash, there's no use in keeping the two of them around."

"So you're going to kill them because you feel bad for them? So, I guess that means you would kill, uh, Willas Tyrell because of that leg thing, and, oh, and you felt bad for Adelina Khatchadourian when she had cancer-"

"Well, she doesn't anymore- Whatever, I'm not going to have the Targaryens put out because I feel bad for them, they are a dangerous family, so are the Khatchadourians. This was Robert's idea-"

"You can't always listen to Robert- HE BOUGHT A TIGER IN HIGH SCHOOL."

"...He gave it back..."

Catelyn was at a loss for words. "No, you know what, I'm calling him right now." Catelyn opened the door and saw Bran, Rickon and Arya with their ears pressed up against the door. "Shit."

"...You're gonna kill Dany?" said Rickon softly, tears welling in his blue eyes,

"Oh, no, baby." said Catelyn, picking Rickon up. "Ned, take Bran and Rickon to bed."

Ned looked annoyed as he took Rickon and Bran rolled into their bedroom cackling to himself. Arya rolled her eyes.

"Is dad gonna kill anyone or is Rickon just on crack?"

"Watch your mouth."

"Where's Sansa anyway? and Robb and Theon and Jon?"

"They're at a party. Because they're old enough to go to parties."

"They're gonna get wasted."

"Watch it, missy." said Catelyn,

"I don't get it, why can't I go to any parties?"

"Because you're twelve."

"But Gendry's there!"

Catelyn raised her eyebrows, "Oh, Gendry?"

"...I've said too much."

"No, who's Gendry?"

"He goes to the high school, he's my friend." Arya looked at the ground.

"Gendry Waters?"

"Yeah!"

"Oh... Arya... Have you been making friends?"

"Kind of. There's a grade nine named Meera who goes to the high school but she's volunteering and a kid named Lommy and this other kid who everyone calls Hot Pie because he sweats a lot and passes out pies in class. And Jhogo Khatchadourian keeps  _hitting on me._ Can I watch Big Bang Theory?"

"...Sure, fine."

"YEAH!" Arya yelled, sprinting downstairs and turning the TV on. Catelyn rolled her eyes. She was going to have yell at Ned some more.

 


End file.
